Your first birthday has now come and gone.
I would be lying if I said the day you were born wasn’t one of my scariest and most painful. Maybe admitting that makes me a bad mom, maybe it just makes me human. I am thankful to be in a place now where I have found more peace with how you entered the world.
I also had a spot o’ trouble coping with the delay of your birth, which was 15 days after you were due. Irrational is a nice way of describing my behavior. Your poor dad. It was kind of no wonder you didn’t want to come out and meet your (possibly literally) crazy mama.
But as I sit and contemplate your first year, thinking about how much you’ve grown and learned, and how very much you have yet to, I feel the prickle of tears. It has gone so slowly, yet so quickly, this first year of your beautiful life.
To say that I treasure you is the understatement of the century.
You are the best decision we have ever made.
Your sassy babble is adorable (even if it is mostly da da da da. Maybe we could insert some “m”s in conjunction with those “a”s?), your long eyelashes (courtesy of your daddy) are enviable, and your head of silky fuzz is finally starting to look like hair.
The way you combine a devilish grin with peals of magical baby laughter and crawl away after I beckon “Come here!” (you get this one from both of us, I think).
Your lovely blue eyes (mine, with a hint of daddy lurking under the surface), cheeks for days (daddy’s) and 6 itty bitty teeth make for one of the sweetest smiles I have ever seen.
It wasn’t always easy like this; daddy rocked you to sleep many nights and there were the times when you only slept 1-2 hours at a time at night. Plus, all of the fevers and colds, bronchiolitis and ear infections this past Winter and Spring. But we all got through.
I am proud to say that I was able to breastfeed you for your entire first year of life, including pumping at work three times a day for the last nine months. Breastfeeding is probably one of least intuitive natural things I have ever done. It was hard in the beginning, but we made it through, and I plan to continue on nursing you until it doesn’t work anymore for one of us.
I don’t really know where I am going with this, but you amaze me, and I want the world to know.
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
I will always love you more than I can ever say.
Happy Birthday, Baby Boy.